The Last Lesson

Tomorrow is my Mom's birthday.  She would have been 69.

Four months ago, I was with her when she took her final breath and it was the most profound moment of my life.  My mom taught me how to be a mom the day she died.  

Jesus told a story about The Prodigal Son.  A very wealthy man had two sons and he divided all he had evenly between the two men.  One of the sons decided he wanted his money before his dad died and the father gave it to him.  This son took the money, left town, and partied...really partied.  Eventually, he had nothing left.  He was living on the streets, begging for food and money.  He'd hit rock bottom.  He knew he'd messed up but he also knew he needed to go home.  Some part of him believed his father would welcome him home, which he did, with an enormous feast, beautiful clothing, and the finest jewels.  The other son, the one who had stayed and taken care of his father and his father's property, was quite annoyed by this.  How could his dad welcome this loser home?  The one who had squandered everything he'd been given and hurt his father so deeply.  The one who partied while he was home running the family business!  The father explained to his distraught son that everything he as his father owned already belonged to him but he had to celebrate the return of his other son because he was once lost but he is now found.

I was the prodigal son.  I was an addict.  I stole pills from my mom.  I took money from my mom, knowing I was going to buy pills.  I lied to my mom.  I manipulated my mom.  I took advantage of my mom.  I abandoned my mom.

And yet, when I walked into my mom's room and she could no longer speak, she looked at me.  She recognized me.  She reached out her arms, arms she could barely lift or control any longer and she reached for my face.  She held my face in her hands and she looked into my eyes and her eyes were filled with so much love.  She knew me.  She knew the guilt and shame I carried and her eyes and hands took both from me.  She didn't see my mistakes, she saw her daughter.

The last lesson my mom taught me was about unconditional love.  In those moments where she held my face and looked at me, she showed me how to love my own children, unconditionally.

Elvis

This is Elvis - the best dog in the world.

You'd never know it by looking at this picture, would you?

His medical file has "CAUTION" written in big letters on the front of the folder AND inside as well.  Apparently, Elvis barks, tries to bite, scratch, claw and basically attack anyone that comes near him at the vets office.

And at the groomers.

And in our front yard.

Not only did Elvis need to be muzzled today, but he also had to be held down by three people in order for the vet to examine him.  He weighs 14.7 pounds.

I started feeling like I did when my kids were little and they'd be screaming in a restaurant or freaking out in the grocery store or having a fit in church...in the front row!!  I was sure everyone was watching me and waiting to see how I'd handle my kids' meltdowns.  I would have given my kids anything - a bottle, candy, a Lego, an American Girl doll, a stick of dynamite - anything to shut them up and calm them down..

That's how I was feeling in vet's exam room today.  If only I'd had a Beggin' Strip.